You may know that I have done some acting. That I graduated from the Second City, both Improv / Acting Conservatory and the Writing Conservatory. I also cowrote / coproduced an episode of a Comedy Central show (nobody ever saw). If you didn’t, now you do.

So fast-forward several years of trying hard, with nominal success, having fun, a few bad agents, one good one. Fast-further-forward to earlier this year, when it was still nice golfing weather outside, and a buddy, (who we’ll call Dr. D. for this post) now golfs at the same club as Dennis Farina.  

Unknown to me, at the clubhouse one day he starts chatting me up to Dennis, his director and producer for their latest film: “The Last Rights of Joe May.” (I think that’s the name.) He did the same thing when he met Robin Williams at some restaurant in L.A. a couple years back. Or so he said.

DR. D. calls me with, “Your going to be in a Dennis Farina Movie!” And I laughed… Another kooky prank from D. And though laced with elaborate details, it was still plausible he was messing with me.

Months later the Director of the film calls – we chat – I tell him my life has changed – I’m not doing much of any acting now. “I’m focused on two things: not messing up my relationship with my perfect girlfriend Liz, and growing the interactive consulting business. It was nice of you to call, I’m not sure what all Dr. D. told you, but I don’t have any delusions of grandeur.” Director says, “We’ll give you a shot.” Still, could be an elaborate prank. I call D. with updates…

A few months pass, no news, I figure just as well…

Yesterday, “Good Agent” (Ann Emmrich – 815-577-8650, good auditions, good jobs, fast pay, got my tax info quickly – Good Agent Anne) has been desperately trying to reach me on my cell phone for the past two days, (which is off). I turn it on and get the messages, “Dennis Farina, his director and the producer of their new film requested to see YOU for a part, (really small part). You have two lines. I’m gonna read them to you over the phone.” Anne is so cool. I’ve never met her. We do all our work over the phone and fax, snail-mail, no email no website. She’s a not even a low-tech she’s a no-tech. And she’s been great to work with.

And finally, now, this is all clearly not a prank…

Cut to today in the casting agent’s lobby – only me. Loft space, lot of empty green chairs against the eggshell colored walls lining a long entrance way. Some weird brightly-colored, patterned tapestries on the walls that when you squint, you can see ape heads.

A very attractive woman, (actor) comes in five minutes later. “Did you have trouble getting in the door too?” “Where are the sign in sheets?” She says. “Yep, and got me.” I say.

We chat a bit. I’m careful to casually mention “my girlfriend Liz” in a sentence. It probably sounded completely clumsy.  And not that I think anything was going on there – and not that this is the state of my life – women throwing themselves at me – it just usually seems to make women more comfortable.  

Not your typical audition. Only two people in the lobby. No sign-in sheets, no head shot or resume request. Not your typical cattle call where it’s me and 30 other middle-aged freckle-faced Irish looking guys. Those things can be draining.

My name is called.

This audition took less than two minutes once in the room. The casting agent and her assistant filmed me. Slate (name and representation) and then the casting agent played the part of Dennis (or Joe). I did my lines, she did his. One take and one backup take and I was done. “Thanks good to see you.” She said.

Took a lot longer to find a parking space.

BTW – The agent only calls if you get a callback or the part. They either want you or they don’t. “Ya haf ta fa-ged-aboud it.”

Though I expect not to get this part, I thought it would be fun to audition anyway. Never has anybody at “this level” asked for “me” specifically to audition.

Fortunately, I have an understanding and generous boss, (thanks Andy), who gave me the time off to pursue this today.

SO if I get it, I get it. No biggie either way. I’ve got plenty on my plate.

When things warm up again maybe D will invite me out to the club? I’d rather be out golfing with those guys than acting any day. I’m sure they have some good stories to tell. And who knows they may need a new “local” interactive agency for this film. If I get the callback, I’ll be sure to plug our Astek. I’ll let you know what happens.

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Tom Lynch Categories: Fun